“You should’ve shared this 15 years ago.
Our own goose is cooked already.”
We laughed.
But I continued to think about it.
Because a lot of people quietly feel that way about marriage.
Like they missed the moment.
Missed the lesson.
Missed the chance to do things differently.
And maybe that’s why this quote carries such depth:
“Forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what only time could teach you.”
That’s not an excuse...it's wisdom.
Because some things cannot be learned from theory.
Only from living.
From mistakes.
From consequences.
From getting it wrong and finally understanding why.
And marriage will teach you things about yourself...
you didn’t know were there.
Your impatience.
Your pride.
Your fear.
Your communication gaps.
Things that looked small before marriage…
suddenly become visible under proximity.
And when you realize it years later,
there’s a temptation to grieve the time.
“We should have known this earlier.”
“We wasted so many years.”
“If only we understood this before now…”
But healing rarely starts with shame.
It starts with honesty.
Romans 8:28 says,
“ALL things work together for good…”
Not some things.
ALL things.
Even the years that felt wasted.
Even the seasons you would redo if you could.
Because time teaches.
Sometimes gently.
Sometimes painfully.
But once you see differently…
you have a choice.
You can stay stuck mourning the years…
or you can turn.
That’s the thing about direction.
The amount of time spent going the wrong way...
does not have to change your destination.
You can turn around.
And that applies to marriage too.
Just because unhealthy patterns lasted years
doesn’t mean they must continue.
Just because silence became normal
doesn’t mean honesty can’t begin now.
Just because distance grew slowly
doesn’t mean reconnection is impossible.
The enemy of growth is not failure.
It’s finality.
The belief that “this is just how we are now.”
But Scripture is full of people who changed direction.
The prodigal son “came to himself.”
Zacchaeus changed course publicly.
Peter failed bigly… and still became better.
Because God deals in redemption.
Not just perfection.
So yes…
maybe you didn’t know then what you know now.
Maybe you handled things badly.
Maybe you stayed immature longer than you should have.
But now you know.
And now matters too.
Philippians 3:13 tells us,
“Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead…”
Not pretending the past didn’t happen.
Just refusing to stay trapped in it.
So if something in you is waking up…
Don’t waste time grieving the years so much
that you miss the opportunity still in front of you.
It’s not too late to apologize.
Not too late to soften.
Not too late to learn better patterns.
Not too late to rebuild differently.
And sometimes…
the marriages that become strongest later
are the ones that finally stopped pretending
and started growing.
So no…
your goose is not necessarily cooked.
Maybe…
you just finally realized you were going the wrong direction.
And realizing that?
That might actually be the beginning.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
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