And honestly…
there was more wisdom in those few minutes than in a lot of long conversations people have about marriage.
Someone asked David what it’s like loving a black woman.
His response was simple… but weighty.
“When your dream is to make the other person’s dreams come true… to me, that’s the ultimate love.”
I sat with that for a minute.
His answer wasn't,
“How do I get what I want?”
Not,
“How do I stay fulfilled?”
But,
“How do I help you become everything God placed in you?”
Imagine having that heart posture towards marriage.
Because now love is no longer consumption.
It’s contribution.
And then he said something else.
“I’m making sure she’s good first… and she’s making sure I’m good.”
Then he smiled and called it:
“A love explosion.”
That line almost sounds too simple.
Until you realize how rare it is.
Because many relationships become negotiations.
We make it about keeping score.
Protecting self.
Waiting to receive first.
But mutual care?
That’s different.
The Bible says in Philippians 2:4,
“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
It's not a call to losing myself.
I'm just refusing to make myself the center of everything.
And then Tamela spoke.
38 years later…
and she still called him her boyfriend.
“I still like him.”
“I’m still in love with him.”
“I’m really enjoying life with him.”
That did something to me.
Because a lot of people stay married…
without still enjoying each other.
The marriage survives.
But the friendship fades.
The softness fades.
The delight fades.
Yet here they are…
still liking each other.
Still enjoying the company.
Still “locked in.”
She actually said "we're locked in".
That phrase matters too.
Locked in.
It's different from feeling trapped or stuck.
It screams Committed.
And then David dropped the line that was the icing on the cake for me.
“If you can fight through all the things you are going through in the early years and get over to this other side… man…”
Then he pauses.
“I feel tingly.”
That wasn’t acting.
That sounded earned.
Because people romanticize lasting marriages…
without respecting what it took to build them.
The misunderstandings.
The stretching seasons.
The moments where quitting probably felt easier.
But there’s something about two people who keep choosing each other long enough…
that they eventually arrive somewhere deeper than excitement.
A kind of peace.
A kind of friendship.
A kind of rootedness.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says,
“A threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Not because it never gets pulled.
Because it holds through the pulling.
And maybe that’s the lesson.
A lot of people want the “tingly” feeling on the other side…
without fighting through the early years that produce it.
But marriages are not deep because time passed.
They become deep because two people kept building through time.
Through disappointment.
Through adjustment.
Through learning each other properly.
And eventually…
if both people stay soft enough, fpecible enough, humble enough, committed enough…
you wake up one day and realize:
“This person is still my person.”
Not just legally... Joyfully.
And that’s beautiful.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
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