Are You Growing?

Someone once told me,

“Anything that doesn’t grow… dies.”

At first, it sounded a bit extreme.

But after processing it long enough,

I started to see it everywhere.

Growth is not just about becoming more.

It’s about becoming different.

Because anything that is truly growing…

is also changing.

That’s where many of us struggle.

We say we are growing,

but we resist transition.

We want the benefits of growth…

without the discomfort of becoming.

But transition is the evidence.

If nothing is shifting,

nothing is really growing.

And this shows up clearly in marriage.

Because marriage grows too.

Or at least… it’s supposed to.

The way you communicated in year one

cannot sustain you in year five.

The way you handled conflict early on

will not carry you through deeper seasons.

The way you loved each other at the beginning

must evolve as life changes, responsibilities increase,

and realities set in.

But sometimes, we try to freeze marriage in a version that felt good.

We hold onto old patterns.

Old expectations.

Old ways of relating.

And when things begin to change,

we resist it.

We say things like,

“You’ve changed.”

And sometimes… that’s exactly what needed to happen.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says,

“To everything there is a season…”

Not one season.

Seasons.

Which means what worked before

may not be what is needed now.

Growth in marriage will require transition.

In how you listen.

In how you speak.

In how you show up.

In how you understand each other.

Because if you stay the same

while life keeps moving…

something will start to break.

It doesn't have to be loud.

It doesn't have to be fast.

A disconnect.

A frustration you can’t quite explain.

A sense that something feels off.

It’s not always because love is gone.

Sometimes… growth was required,

and it didn’t happen.

2 Corinthians 3:18 talks about being transformed…

“from glory to glory.”

That doesn't sound like static.

That’s movement.

That’s progression.

And marriage is meant to reflect that.

Two people… not just staying together,

but growing together.

Adapting.

Learning.

Becoming.

Many times our focus is on:

“Are we still here?”

Instead of,

“Are we still growing?”

Staying the same

might feel comfortable…

but over time,

it can quietly become the very thing that holds the marriage back.

Growth will stretch you.

Transition will challenge you.

But that’s where life is.

That’s where depth is.

That’s where a marriage becomes more than what it was…

and starts becoming what it needs to be.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.