It’s easy to carry expectations into a relationship.
In fact, most people do.
You think about how you want to be loved.
How you want to be spoken to.
How you want to be pursued, chosen, understood.
And those desires are not wrong.
They matter.
But expectations are not meant to sit on one side.
They are not a list your future spouse is meant to carry alone.
Because every expectation you have…
has a reflection.
If you want patience…
are you patient?
If you want consistency…
are you consistent?
If you want emotional safety…
are you safe to be with?
If you want someone who listens…
do you listen?
It’s easy to build a picture of what “they” should be.
It’s harder to sit with the question of who you are becoming.
Because preparation is quieter than expectation.
It doesn’t announce itself.
It doesn’t demand attention.
It works on you.
Galatians 6:4-5 puts it plainly:
“Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.”
Not someone else’s.
Our own.
And this is where balance comes in.
Not perfection or pressure.
But alignment.
Because the relationship you are hoping for
will eventually meet the person you are becoming.
Not the person you imagine…
but the one you are actually building.
So before you ask,
“Will they meet my expectations?”
Pause.
And ask something just as important.
“Am I becoming someone who can carry the weight of what I’m asking for?”
Because love doesn’t just require desire.
It requires capacity.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
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