Not every marriage between two “Christians”
is a marriage between two believers.
And that difference…
changes everything.
Remember there is Christianity that is just religion. A checkbox we tick when filling out forms that require that information.
I read 1 Corinthians chapter 7 again recently.
And it gave me something hard to swallow...
Apostle Paul is very direct.
“To the married I COMMAND, yet not I but THE LORD… a wife is not to depart from her husband… and a husband is not to divorce his wife.”
It wasn't a suggestion.
It was a command.
Then he makes room for something real.
Separation.
“If she does depart… let her remain unmarried or be reconciled.”
Which means Scripture is not naïve.
It recognizes that things can get difficult or tense.
Even unbearable at times.
So space may happen.
But even in that space…
the direction is still reconciliation.
And this is where the weight of it landed again.
Because when you read this in full context…
it becomes clear:
This is speaking to believers.
Not just by label.
Believers by life.
People who carry the Spirit of God.
People who are willing to be corrected.
People who don’t just hear the Word… but yield to it.
People who are not trying to win arguments… but please God.
Because if both people are truly submitted to God…
things cannot remain the same.
It may not happen overnight.
It may not be perfect.
But directionally.
- Conviction becomes active.
- Pride gets challenged.
- Apologies become possible.
- Growth becomes necessary.
Not because the other spouse demands it…
but because God does.
So what's the difference between a Christian by religion and a believer in Christ Jesus?
One is identity by association.
The other is transformation by submission.
2 Corinthians 3:18 talks about being transformed…
“from glory to glory.”
Someone living that kind of life cannot stay rigid.
They cannot stay defensive.
They cannot stay unwilling to change.
So when two people are truly living under that reality…
divorce is not the natural outcome.
Not because marriage is always easy…
but because both people are being shaped by something higher than themselves.
Even when things break…
they don’t stay broken.
Even when separation happens…
it is not the end goal.
Because reconciliation is not just about feelings.
It’s about alignment.
With God.
With truth.
With what is right.
But when that alignment is missing…
everything changes.
Because now you are not just dealing with conflict…
you are dealing with resistance to transformation.
And that’s why Paul addresses the situation of an unbelieving spouse.
Because not everyone is operating from the same foundation.
So the question is not just about marriage.
It’s also about foundation.
Because two people can be in the same house…
attend the same church…
use the same language…
and still not be building from the same place.
And when the foundation is different…
the outcomes will be different.
A deep question for a Christian couple to ask each other is:
“Are we BOTH truly yielded to God?”
Because marriage between two people who are genuinely surrendered to God…
may not be perfect.
But it is not directionless.
It bends.
It adjusts.
It convicts.
It grows.
And even when it breaks in places…
there is something within both people
that keeps pulling it back toward what is right.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
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