One person tried to shut down a point by throwing out a number.
“So you’re saying 70% of people will be affected?”
And the response was simple.
“You don’t intimidate me with numbers.
That’s not truth… that’s an attempt to manipulate my emotions.”
Of course, I had to sit with that for a minute.
Because numbers can sound logical…
but still be used emotionally.
And then I thought about how
we do the same thing in marriage.
Not with percentages.
With absolutes.
“You never help.”
“You always do this.”
“You never listen.”
“You’re always like this.”
It sounds strong...
even sounds convincing.
But most of the time…
it’s not true.
It’s emotion, packaged as fact.
Because in the moment, you’re not trying to describe reality.
You’re trying to emphasize how you feel.
To make your point land harder.
To make them feel the weight of it.
So you exaggerate.
But here’s the problem.
Exaggeration doesn’t clarify.
It distorts.
The moment you say “always”…
the other person stops listening.
Because now they’re not hearing your concern.
They’re defending the inaccuracy.
“No, I don’t.”
“That’s not true.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
And just like that…
the conversation shifts.
From understanding…
to arguing about extremes.
Proverbs 18:21 says,
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”
Not just because of what we say…
but how we say it.
Because words shape perception.
And when your words are inaccurate…
your message loses credibility.
Colossians 4:6 says,
“Let your conversation be always full of grace… seasoned with salt.”
Salt doesn’t overwhelm.
It sharpens.
It brings out what’s already there.
That’s what communication in marriage should do.
Not exaggerate the issue…
but reveal it clearly.
Instead of:
“You never help.”
Let's try:
“I feel overwhelmed when I’m handling this alone.”
Instead of:
“You always nag.”
Try:
“I feel pressured when things are repeated that way.”
Same issue...
but different delivery.
One attacks.
The other invites understanding.
Because the goal is not to win the moment.
It’s to be understood.
And truth doesn’t need exaggeration to stand.
So, as married folks, let's ask ourselves:
Am I communicating what is true…
or what feels intense?
Because one builds clarity.
The other builds conflict.
And over time…
the difference shows.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
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