One of the things that kept amusing me during my recent 9ja trip was Google Maps.
I'd put in a destination.
The app would tell me:
7 miles.
Arrival time? 1 hour.
What?
Seven miles?
An hour to get there?
Then I'd remember where I was.
Bad roads.
Traffic.
A broken-down truck somewhere ahead.
Three lanes of cars trying to become six.
A commercial driver inventing new traffic laws in real time.
Google Maps wasn't wrong about the distance.
The destination was still seven miles away.
It's just that... arrival is determined by more than distance.
It's also determined by conditions.
And somewhere between sitting in traffic and watching my ETA increase for no apparent reason...
I started thinking about marriage.
Most couples have destinations...or we can also call them goals.
A stronger marriage.
Better communication.
Financial stability.
Trust.
Emotional intimacy.
A thriving family.
Spiritual growth.
The destination is usually clear.
The mistake is assuming that because the destination is known...
the arrival is guaranteed.
It isn't.
Two couples can have exactly the same goal.
One gets there in five years.
The other takes fifteen.
Not because the destination moved.
Because the conditions were different.
Unresolved resentment slows things down.
Poor communication slows things down.
Pride slows things down.
Unhealed trauma slows things down.
Avoidance slows things down.
And sometimes there are detours.
Unexpected ones.
A job loss.
A health challenge.
A difficult season with children.
A betrayal.
A crisis of faith.
Suddenly the route becomes longer than expected.
This is where many people become discouraged.
Because they confuse delay with failure.
But the fact that you're not there yet doesn't mean you're not moving.
When GPS recalculates, it doesn't tell you to abandon the trip.
It simply adjusts the route.
That's one of the reasons I love Philippians 1:6.
"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion..."
Completion.
Not immediate perfection.
Not instant arrival.
Completion.
God understands process.
Probably better than we do.
The problem is that we often compare our journey to someone else's arrival.
We see another marriage thriving and wonder why ours isn't there yet.
What we don't see are the roads they traveled.
The repairs they made.
The traffic they endured.
The detours they survived.
So we become impatient.
But maturity understands something important:
The distance may be the same.
The arrival time may not be.
And that's okay.
What matters is that you're still moving.
Still learning.
Still growing.
Still choosing each other.
Still letting God shape both of you.
Because eventually...
if you stay on the journey long enough...
you get there.
Not because the road was easy.
But because you refused to quit when it wasn't.
So don't judge your marriage solely by how long it's taking.
Sometimes the traffic is real.
Sometimes the road needs work.
Sometimes the route gets recalculated.
Just keep moving.
The destination hasn't changed.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
© Lanre Olagbaju
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