Forget NEPA, Get Your Inverter

We are still on my 9ja trip (I'm sorry)

While driving around Surulere, I saw a billboard that made me laugh.

It simply said:

"Forget NEPA, get your inverter."

If you're Nigerian, you probably smiled too.

Because you already know the backstory.

NEPA was supposed to provide power. (Think Excel Energy, Connexus...)

That was the system.

That was the plan.

That was what people depended on.

But somewhere along the line, Nigerians learned a different lesson:

Hope for NEPA.

Prepare for darkness.

So people adapted.

Generators.

Solar Panels.

Inverters.

Power banks.

Entire industries were built around the failure of something that was supposed to work.

And as I sat there looking at that billboard, I couldn't help but think about marriage.

Because many couples have their own inverters.

The question is:

Why?

What are the backup systems you've installed because something that should be working isn't?

A husband who stopped sharing his fears because every vulnerable conversation turned into criticism.

An inverter.

A wife who stopped asking for help because experience taught her she would be disappointed.

An inverter.

A spouse who gets all their emotional support from friends because meaningful conversations at home never seem to happen.

An inverter.

Someone who buries themselves in work.

Someone who lives on social media.

Someone who disappears into hobbies.

Someone who emotionally checks out.

Inverters.

Now let's be clear.

The inverter isn't the problem.

The inverter is the adaptation.

The real question is:

Why was it needed?

Because healthy marriages don't merely identify coping mechanisms.

They investigate the power outage.

Some couples spend years upgrading their inverters.

Bigger distractions.

Better escapes.

More sophisticated avoidance.

But never address the actual issue.

The broken communication.

The weakened trust is weak.

The fading connection.

The suffering intimacy.

Yet everyone is focused on making the backup system more comfortable.

Imagine a power company seeing everyone buy generators and concluding:

"Looks like everything is fine."

No.

The generators are evidence that something isn't.

It should be the same mindset in marriage.

That emotional distance?

That constant busyness?

That refusal to engage?

They are coping mechanisms

And a coping mechanism is often a clue.

It points somewhere.

Proverbs 20:5 tells us,

"The purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out."

Sometimes we spend so much time managing behavior that we never investigate the reason behind it.

Why did they withdraw?

Why did they stop trying?

Why did they become defensive?

Why did they build a backup system in the first place?

Those are uncomfortable questions.

But they are necessary ones.

Because God's design for marriage wasn't two people surviving beside each other.

It was connection.

Partnership.

Oneness.

And sometimes restoration begins when we stop asking,

"Why do you keep using the inverter?"

and start asking,

"What happened to the power?"

Not every marriage has a power problem.

But every couple should be honest enough to identify their inverters.

The things they've learned to depend on because something else stopped working.

And then, together, begin the harder work.

Fixing the source.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.

© Lanre Olagbaju