Stop Begging Statues

I came across an image recently.

A dog sat patiently in front of a statue.

Looking up. Wagging its tail. Waiting in hope and expectation.

If you've ever owned a dog, you know that look.

The look that says,

"Throw the ball."

"Pet me."

"Let's play."

The dog wasn't doing anything wrong.

The problem was the object of its affection.

The statue couldn't throw the ball.

It couldn't respond.

It couldn't engage.

It was incapable of love.

Yet there sat the dog.

Investing time, attention, and energy.

And I couldn't help but think about how many people do the exact same thing in relationships.

Not because they're foolish.

Because they're hopeful.

They keep trying.

Keep explaining.

Keep proving themselves.

Keep shrinking their standards.

Keep overlooking warning signs.

All for someone who has repeatedly shown they are unwilling or incapable of giving what is being sought.

Not everyone is capable of giving you what you need.

Let that simmer for a little bit.

Does it mean they are evil?

Not necessarily.

It just makes them the wrong source.

Some people cannot give the commitment.

Some cannot give the honesty.

Some cannot give the emotional safety.

Some cannot give the spiritual partnership...

you are looking for.

And no amount of wishing changes that.

The hard part is that hope often keeps us seated longer than wisdom would.

We convince ourselves:

"Maybe If I love harder..."

"If I'm patient enough..."

"If I explain myself one more time..."

"If I sacrifice a little more..."

"If I kiss the frog one more time..."

Maybe 

The statue will finally become alive.

But statues don't become people because we desire it strongly enough.

Proverbs 13:12 says,

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick."

Not hope denied.

Hope deferred.

The exhausting cycle of constantly expecting what never arrives.

This is especially important for singles.

Because dating is not only about finding someone you like.

It's about discerning who is capable of building the kind of relationship you desire.

Character matters.

Capacity matters.

Availability matters.

It's possible to deeply admire someone who lacks the capacity to love you well.

And that's where many people get trapped.

They spend years evaluating potential while ignoring reality.

Jesus once asked a blind man,

"What do you want Me to do for you?"

A strange question.

The need seemed obvious.

But Jesus was dealing with reality, not assumptions.

Sometimes we need to do the same in relationships.

Not just:

"Who could this person become?"

But:

"Who are they right now?"

Because love is not proven by how long you sit in front of a statue.

Wisdom is knowing when the ball is never coming back.

Not every closed door is rejection.

Sometimes it's protection.

Sometimes it's redirection.

Sometimes it's God reminding you that your value is too great to spend your life begging statues for what living hearts should freely give.

So if you find yourself constantly chasing attention, validation, commitment, affection, or effort from someone who keeps showing you they cannot provide it...

pause.

Not every relationship needs more effort.

Some need more honesty.

Because one of the most freeing realizations in life is this:

You cannot receive from people what they do not possess.

And no amount of longing changes that.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.