When you are desperate…
you are usually least discerning.
That's what desperation does.
It doesn't just make you want something badly.
It changes how you see.
Things that should concern you suddenly become understandable.
Things that should make you pause suddenly seem insignificant.
Things that would have been an obvious NO six months ago become negotiable.
Not because the red flags disappeared.
BUT
Because desperation changed the filter.
The person is still emotionally unavailable.
Still inconsistent.
Still unwilling to take responsibility.
Still showing signs of anger, pride, manipulation, dishonesty, or spiritual apathy.
But now the conversation in your head sounds different.
"Nobody is perfect."
"Maybe I'm being too picky."
"I can help them grow."
"At least they're interested in me."
And little by little...
red flags become beige.
Then beige becomes green.
Not because they changed.
Because your desire to be chosen became stronger than your willingness to evaluate.
That is a dangerous place to make life decisions from.
Esau traded his birthright for a bowl of stew.
A permanent thing for a temporary craving.
His hunger wasn't the problem.
The timing of the decision was.
Desperation often does the same thing.
It convinces you to make permanent decisions under temporary pressure.
To overlook character because you're lonely.
To ignore patterns because you're tired of waiting.
To settle for attention because you desire companionship.
But loneliness is a poor matchmaker.
Proverbs 19:2 says,
"He who hurries with his feet misses his way."
Notice that.
The problem wasn't movement.
The problem was rushing.
Because some mistakes don't happen because people are foolish.
They happen because people are impatient.
The right person does not become more right because you're desperate.
And the wrong person does not become safer because you're lonely.
This is why discernment matters.
Not just attraction.
Not just chemistry.
Not just potential.
Discernment asks questions feelings don't like.
Why are they inconsistent?
Why do they avoid accountability?
Why do they treat people this way?
Why does this keep bothering me?
And sometimes the answer is uncomfortable.
Sometimes the red flag isn't being misunderstood.
It's being ignored.
So if you find yourself constantly explaining away concerns...
constantly minimizing warning signs...
constantly defending behavior you know would concern you if it happened to someone else...
pause.
Not because love is wrong.
Not because marriage is bad.
But because desperation has a way of turning warning signs into welcome signs.
And your future deserves better than decisions made from fear.
Trust God's timing enough to keep your discernment.
Because the goal is not merely to get married.
The goal is to marry wisely.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
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