“What are some questions people should ask while dating?”
A simple question...right?
But the answer isn’t.
Because most people date to feel something.
Very few date to understand something.
We ask surface questions.
We look for chemistry.
We pay attention to how we feel.
But marriage is not sustained by feelings.
It is sustained by understanding.
The Bible says in Proverbs 20:5,
“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters,
but one who has insight draws them out.”
That means you don’t stumble into understanding.
You ask for it.
So here are some questions I was able to put together…
They are not meant to interrogate...
but to reveal.
1. “What was your last relationship like? What did you learn? Any regrets?”
Because patterns don’t disappear just because the person changed.
This reveals self-awareness… or the lack of it.
2. “What does respect mean to you?”
Because people don’t fight over disrespect the same way.
You need to know what feels like honor… and what feels like disregard.
3. “What does communication mean to you?”
Because one person’s “we talked” is another person’s “we avoided everything.”
This helps define how issues will actually be handled.
4. “What is one thing you need to learn… and one you need to unlearn?”
Because growth requires both addition and removal.
If they can’t name either, growth may not be happening.
5. “What does friendship mean to and in a relationship?”
Because when romance fluctuates… friendship sustains.
Without it, the relationship becomes functional, not connected.
6. “How do you fix things when you realize you were wrong?”
Because conflict is inevitable.
What matters is whether repair comes naturally… or is resisted.
7. “How do you handle differing opinions?”
Because agreement is easy.
Respect in disagreement is what keeps peace.
8. “What are your values?”
Because love without alignment will struggle over time.
Values determine direction… not just intentions.
9. “Is there any trauma from your past you’re still healing from?”
Because unhealed wounds don’t stay in the past.
They show up in present relationships.
10. “Do you feel, or have you been told, that you struggle with anger?”
Because unmanaged anger doesn’t disappear in marriage.
It drinks Red Bull and amplifies.
11 “What did you learn from your parents’ marriage? Good and Bad”
Because whether we admit it or not… we carry models.
Some we repeat. Some we react against.
12. “What is your anchor scripture for marriage?”
Because when feelings fluctuate… what anchors you matters.
A marriage without spiritual grounding WILL drift.
13. “What does surrender to God look like in your life right now?”
This reveals whether your faith is practiced… or just professed.
Because marriage will demand that same surrender.
If it’s not happening with God… it won’t suddenly appear in marriage.
14. “Who in your life can correct you… and you actually listen?”
Because having people around you is one thing.
Being submitted enough to hear them is another.
15. “When was the last time you were corrected by God… and you obeyed?”
Because conviction is proof of relationship.
And obedience is proof of surrender.
Yay! Looks like we got 15.
These are not questions for perfection.
They are questions for awareness.
Because the goal is not to find someone flawless.
It’s to find someone who is aware…
teachable…
and willing to grow.
And here’s the most important part.
It’s not just about asking these questions.
It’s about answering them too.
Because the same light you shine on someone else…
must also shine on you.
2 Corinthians 13:5 reminds us to,
“Examine yourselves…”
Not just others.
Yourselves.
Because marriage is not two perfect people coming together.
It is two aware people choosing to grow together.
So don’t just ask better questions.
Become better answers.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
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