Last year, I saw a skit by Brainjotter...hilarious but all the same, very thoughtful.
A guy saw a lady he liked, walked up to her, said hello…and followed it with:
“What’s your genotype?”
She was offended.
Rightfully so.
Who does that?
But the guy explained himself.
He was a carrier of the sickle cell trait.
He didn’t want to waste time building attraction with someone who could lead to children suffering from sickle cell anemia.
The approach was awkward.
The timing was weird.
But the message was CLEAR.
There are things that matter enough to talk about before feelings take over.
Every relationship starts with attraction...not love
We like to rewrite the story after the fact, but the truth is simple.
No relationship starts with love.
It starts with attraction.
Something catches your eye.
Your interest is piqued.
Your curiosity is engaged.
And attraction is not sinful.
It’s human.
But attraction is also unguarded.
It’s the phase where logic is quiet,
where warning signs are soft,
where butterflies are loud and discernment is still waking up.
That’s why timing matters.
The attraction phase is for questions...not fantasies
Before the heart gets attached, before defenses lower, before emotions take the lead...
that’s when the important conversations belong.
Values.
Faith.
Vision.
Deal breakers.
Non-negotiables.
Not everything needs to be discussed on day one...or date 3.
But the things that shape your future shouldn’t be postponed indefinitely.
You can’t have spirituality be important to you, yet refuse to discuss it and other things that actually matter...
while eagerly debating horoscopes, favorite colors, and food.
That’s imbalance.
We often skip clarity and rush to chemistry
Many people don’t overlook deal breakers because they don’t care.
They overlook them because they waited too long to ask.
By the time the questions surface, the heart is already invested.
Attachment has formed.
Hope has taken root.
So instead of asking, “Is this wise?”
we ask, “How do I make this work?”
That’s how attraction quietly graduates into love without ever passing through truth.
A hard but honest example
A Christian sister is dating a tall, handsome man.
Someone asks her, “Is he a child of God?”
She pauses.
“I don’t know.”
But the butterflies are already having a full-blown circus in her stomach.
That pause matters.
Because attraction can distract you from information you would never ignore if emotions weren’t involved.
Attraction fades...values don’t
Looks change.
Chemistry fluctuates.
Seasons change.
But values remain.
Faith doesn’t magically align after marriage.
Character doesn’t suddenly appear after commitment.
Convictions don’t mature simply because feelings are strong.
The Bible reminds us in Amos 3:3 “Can two walk together unless they are agreed?”
Agreement doesn’t mean sameness.
It means alignment WHERE it matters.
So what’s the wisdom here?
The lesson from that awkward genotype question isn’t about how he asked.
It’s about what he refused to ignore.
Some questions feel uncomfortable.
Some conversations feel unromantic.
But avoiding them doesn’t make them disappear...it just delays the cost.
Before attraction turns into attachment, ask what matters.
Before love clouds judgment, seek clarity.
Before butterflies convince you that everything will work out, check alignment.
Because love built on truth stands.
Love built on avoidance eventually cracks.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
Don’t let attraction rush you past the conversations that protect your future.
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