Ever seen or heard of men who haven't paid their children's school fees or the house rent but always seem to have money to get drunk almost everyday?
Gluttony is an excessive ongoing eating of food or drink, or the overconsumption of ANYTHING to the point of excess.
Let's say it is:
Too much eating.
Too much drinking.
Too much indulgence.
But within the context of marriage, gluttony is far more subtle...and far more destructive.
Gluttony is not about having needs.
It’s about having no restraint.
It’s the habit of overconsumption without consideration.
The posture of “I want what I want, when I want it.”
The belief that desire itself justifies excess.
And it doesn't take long before marriage starts to feel the weight.
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What gluttony looks like in marriage
Gluttony shows up anytime appetite goes unchecked...not just at the table, but in life.
It is the justification we give excesses; it sounds like:
“I deserve this.”
“This is how I cope.”
“I work hard...let me enjoy myself.”
“Why should I limit myself?”
In marriage, gluttony can look like:
- Overindulgence in food, alcohol, or substances that affect presence and health
- Excessive spending without mutual agreement
- Endless consumption of entertainment while neglecting connection. (Scrolling endlessly on your device while your spouse is CONSTANTLY starved of attention)
- Emotional overeating...constantly needing validation, comfort, or reassurance
- Sexual indulgence detached from mutual care and emotional intimacy
Gluttony isn’t always loud.
Sometimes it’s just habitual.
And that’s what makes it dangerous.
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What gluttony does to marriage
Gluttony trains the heart to prioritize appetite over agreement.
It says, “My cravings matter more than our covenant.”
It slowly shifts marriage from partnership to tolerance.
Because when one person consumes excessively, the other eventually compensates...
with silence, resentment, exhaustion, or control.
The Bible warns us clearly:
“Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat,
for drunkards and gluttons become poor,
and drowsiness clothes them in rags.” - Proverbs 23:20–21
Notice the outcome isn’t immediate destruction.
It’s erosion.
Gluttony dulls awareness.
It numbs responsibility.
It weakens discipline.
And marriage suffers quietly in the background.
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What the Bible calls us to instead
God is not anti-pleasure.
He is pro-stewardship.
1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
That verse isn’t about restriction...
it’s about intention.
Glory requires mindfulness.
Honor requires restraint.
Love requires consideration.
Marriage flourishes when both partners practice self-control...not denial, but discernment.
After all, “The fruit of the Spirit is… self-control.” according to Galatians 5:22–23
Self-control isn’t punishment.
It’s protection.
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Guarding against gluttony in marriage
You don’t guard against gluttony by shaming desire.
You guard against it by ordering desire.
Healthy couples practice this intentionally:
• Check appetites together...talk about habits that affect the marriage
• Practice moderation openly...not secretly or defensively
• Name coping mechanisms honestly...excess often masks pain
• Create shared rhythms...meals, rest, intimacy, presence
• Invite accountability without ridicule...love corrects gently
And remember this:
While Gluttony asks, “Why not more?”
Wisdom asks, “What’s enough?”
Marriage thrives when desire is guided by care,
when enjoyment is balanced by responsibility,
and when restraint becomes an act of love, not deprivation.
Because unchecked appetite doesn’t just consume resources...
it consumes intimacy.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
When restraint leads, love has room to grow.
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