I saw an ad recently:
“Fly to the UK for $500. Blah, blah, blah...Terms & Conditions Apply.”
At first glance, it looked unbelievable.
Too good to be true.
Then I checked the T&C.
And suddenly…it made sense.
They didn’t lie.
The offer was real.
But there were conditions attached...things you had to do on your end to enjoy what was being advertised.
And right there, my mind went to:
Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”
We all know that scripture and many quote it like it’s automatic.
As if simply marrying a woman magically produces “the good thing” and “the favor.”
But marriage, like that plane ticket, is a God-given offer with terms and conditions...not to earn love, but to walk in the fullness of it.
The verse is a promise…
but every promise in Scripture has a posture attached.
So yes...there are “T&C.”
Not hidden.
Not manipulative.
Not impossible.
Just the things God asks of us so marriage can be what He designed it to be.
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So what are the “Terms & Conditions” of Proverbs 18:22?
Let’s break it down.
1. “He who finds…” That means responsibility.
Finding implies:
Intention
Discernment
Pursuit
Maturity
Prayer
You don’t “stumble” into a godly marriage.
You choose it with wisdom.
T&C:
A man must be spiritually awake enough to recognize what God is giving him.
Not blinded by lust.
Not driven by culture.
Not distracted by options.
Finding requires vision.
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2. “Finds a wife…” Not just a woman.
A woman can be beautiful.
A woman can be kind.
A woman can be everything culturally celebrated…
…but a wife is a posture of heart.
T&C:
A woman walking in purpose, identity, and covenant alignment with God.
Not perfect.
Not superhuman.
Just willing to build, partner, grow, and follow God’s design for her.
Wife is not a title.
It’s a calling.
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3. “Finds a good thing…” Good doesn’t mean easy.
Some men expect “good thing” to mean:
No conflicts
No stretching
No accountability
No emotional work
No stress
But the Hebrew idea of good is about beneficial, not effortless.
T&C:
You will have to invest in what is good.
Good things require cultivation.
Good things require intentionality.
Good things require humility.
“Good” still grows.
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4. “Obtains favor…” Favor follows order.
Favor isn’t random.
Favor is God’s “yes” resting on alignment.
And God’s alignment for marriage includes:
Love like Christ (Eph. 5:25)
Honor like Christ (1 Pet. 3:7)
Mutual submission (Eph. 5:21)
Covenant faithfulness (Hebrews 13:4)
Unity (Amos 3:3)
Peace-driven leadership, not ego-driven control
T&C:
Favor flows where God’s principles are practiced.
Marriage is blessed when both partners align themselves with God’s heart.
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5. The biggest T&C: You can’t get the benefits without the responsibilities.
You cannot expect:
Peace without forgiveness
Intimacy without vulnerability
Unity without humility
Harmony without sacrifice
Longevity without commitment
Trust without truth
None of these come cheaply.
All of them cost something.
Just like that flight...
the offer is real,
but not automatic.
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So yes…there are “Terms & Conditions.”
Not to make marriage harder.
But to make it holy.
To protect the blessing.
To sustain the “good thing” you found.
To enjoy the favor you obtained.
God gives the promise.
We commit to the posture.
Marriage thrives when we honor both.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
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