Love, Anger, and What I’d Say Now

I posted this image about 15 years ago.

An old couple.

Sitting apart.

Upset.

Silent.

Yet one of them still holds an umbrella over the other.

The caption read:

“Love is caring for each other even when you’re angry.”

Back then, I thought that was the whole truth.

Today, I know it was only part of it.

Because love does care even when angry.

But love is not just endurance.

Love is not silence.

Love is not staying wet on the inside while pretending everything is fine on the outside.

What I believed then

I believed love meant swallowing hurt.

That maturity was quiet endurance.

That being “the bigger person” meant staying, covering, absorbing.

I believed anger was something to hide.

That talking about it made things worse.

That love proved itself by how much discomfort it could tolerate.

What I know now

Love still shows up...yes.

But love also speaks.

Love doesn’t just hold the umbrella.

Love eventually says, “We can’t keep sitting like this.”

Because caring without communication turns into resentment.

And protection without honesty turns into emotional distance.

The Bible actually agrees:

“Be angry, and do not sin.

Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” - Ephesians 4:26

Notice it doesn’t say don’t be angry.

It says don’t let anger settle, rot, or rule.

What love looks like now

Love is still caring when angry...

but it’s also choosing to resolve, not just survive.

Love says:

• “I’m upset, but I know we gotta work it out.”

• “I need space, but not abandonment.”

• “I won’t punish you with silence.”

• “We will talk...even if it’s uncomfortable.”

Sometimes love holds the umbrella.

Sometimes love says, “Let’s move...this bench isn’t working.”

The missing piece in that old post

That image captured kindness.

But there are times love needs more than kindness.

It needs: 

• humility

• accountability

• courage

• timing

• repair

Staying angry but present is not the goal.

Growing through conflict is.

Because the aim of marriage isn’t to prove you can endure pain quietly.

It’s to build something honest, safe, and whole...even when emotions run hot.

So if I posted it today…

I’d still honor the heart of it.

But I’d add this:

Love isn’t just staying.

Love is staying and doing the work.

Holding the umbrella matters.

But so does turning toward each other again.

Be Better. Love Better. Do Better.

Not just by enduring storms...

but by learning how to walk through them together.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.