To my single friends,
When you marry someone, you inherit all their assets and liabilities.
You’re not just getting the confidence, the smile, the brilliance, or the drive.
You’re also stepping into the behind-the-scenes battles...the anxious thoughts, the financial habits, the insecurities, the baggage, the family dynamics, the past pain, the habits they haven’t kicked, and the wounds they’ve tucked away.
Marriage is not a buffet. You don’t get to pick your favorite parts and leave the rest behind. You take it all. The full portfolio.
This is why love...true, godly love, requires full disclosure, prayerful discernment, and a commitment to covenant, not just chemistry.
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Nah! You Don’t Get to Resent What You Once Knew
One of the saddest things I’ve seen is when someone falls in love with a person’s potential, then turns around and resents them for the very weaknesses they already saw.
You knew they were struggling with communication, but they made you laugh.
You knew they had no clear plan for their future, but they were so kind.
You knew they had a temper, but they also had charm and charisma.
Now you’re in, and you’re angry that the liabilities are affecting the marriage.
But come on, you signed up for both columns: the strengths and the weaknesses.
This is why counting the cost isn’t just a marriage seminar cliché. It’s a Biblical principle in Luke 14:28 "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?". You don’t go into covenant on vibes and vision boards. You go in with eyes wide open...and a heart willing to walk with them, not fix them.
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It’s Not Just What They Are Now...It’s What They Could Become
And it’s not just about their current strengths and weaknesses.
You’re also signing up for potential assets and liabilities.
Maybe they’re financially stable now, but what happens when job loss hits?
Maybe they’re emotionally available now, but what happens after the death of a parent?
Maybe they’re low maintenance now, but what happens when sickness shows up?
You won’t know all the future versions of your spouse.
You won’t be able to pre-diagnose every challenge.
But a covenant says, “I’m not just marrying who you are...I’m committing to walk with who you become.”
This is why we need God...not just to choose for us, but to prepare us.
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Christian Marriage is Not a Badge...It’s a Covenant
Too many people treat Christian marriage like a status symbol.
“We did it God’s way.”
“We kept it pure.”
“We married in church.”
Beautiful. But that’s just the start line.
Christian marriage is not a badge. It’s not a performance. It’s not just two people in a cute outfit and a Bible verse caption.
It’s a covenant. A weighty, holy, resilient commitment that reflects Christ and the Church.
And in this covenant, you are called to love like Christ, forgive like Christ, build with Christ, and endure with Christ.
And that’s why you can’t go in blind.
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Remember:
If you’re single, pray. Discern. Ask the right questions. Get wise counsel. But most of all, understand what you’re saying yes to.
Marriage is not a shortcut to wholeness. It’s not a therapy clinic. It’s not a wish factory.
It’s a mirror. A magnifier. A covenant.
So count the cost. And be sure you’re not just marrying the parts you like, while hoping to escape the parts you don’t.
Because love that lasts isn’t built on potential alone. It’s built on truth, grace, and a covenant that says: I see all of you...and I choose you anyway.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
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