Beautiful, but at What Cost?

For Singles. 

And for anyone who’s ever mistaken beauty for balance.

This summer, I planted some African Marigold.

I saw how beautiful they looked in pictures and thought...why not?

So I sowed a few seeds.

Some into pots.

Some into the flowerbeds already housing other blooming plants.

At first? It was lovely.

The marigolds blossomed fast. 

Bright. Bold. Beautiful.

They drew all the attention.

But then I noticed something.

Some of the flowers I planted before the marigold didn’t make it.

They got choked out.

No air. No light. No space.

The marigolds had taken over. 

They didn’t come to share space...they came to own it.

Eventually, I had to cut some of them back…just to give the others a chance to survive.

I sat there for a while and pondered.

That’s how some people are when they enter your space.

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The Cost of “Beautiful”

They show up charming.

They bloom fast.

They make everything look better...for a while.

But they don’t know how to co-succeed.

They don’t know how to cohabitate, co-create, or co-achieve.

It’s their world. 

You just live in it.

You begin to lose yourself trying to hold on to what initially looked like a gift.

Suddenly, you're wilting in your own garden.

They are beautiful, yes.

But at what cost?

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Dating Isn't Just About the Bloom

Some relationships look good on the surface but drain you underneath.

And the worst part? You don’t always see it coming.

Like the marigolds, they creep in, filling space little by little, until everything else in your life has to shrink to accommodate them.

Friend, beauty isn’t bad.

But beauty that chokes your peace, your purpose, your spiritual grounding?

That’s not a flower. 

That’s a weed in disguise.

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Remember:

This is why we don’t just date with our hearts or hormones.

We date with our eyes open.

We evaluate not just the bloom, but the behavior.

Not just the chemistry, but the character.

The Bible says in Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

Everything.

Not just romance.

Decisions. 

Dreams. 

Destiny.

Your garden is sacred.

Protect it.

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Just so you know...

you are not being “too picky” if you refuse to entertain someone who consumes all your oxygen and calls it “love.”

You are not wrong for stepping back from someone who takes up space without offering nourishment.

And you are not alone in wishing the beautiful ones came with better balance.

Guard your garden.

Discern your marigolds.

And never forget; a flower that doesn't let anything else grow…isn't as beautiful as it looks.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.