The Hijack: When Every Conversation Becomes About You

I once heard someone describe conversational narcissism as the act of steering every conversation back to yourself.

I’ve seen it in marriage.

It often shows up like this:

Wife: "Babe, it hurt me when you said that in front of your friends."

Husband: "You too? You know how many things you’ve said that I’ve ignored?"

And BOOM!

Conversation hijacked.

What started as one person’s vulnerable attempt to connect ends up drowned in a counter-complaint.

Rather than sitting with what the other person is feeling, we make it about ourselves...not out of cruelty, but often out of habit. 

Out of hurt. 

Out of that quiet voice inside that says, “When will someone see me too?”

But here’s the thing:

You can’t peel the onion if you slap another one on top of it.

Every time we hijack a vulnerable moment, we shut down a heart that was starting to open.

We may have our own issues, valid and real...but timing matters.

If you can’t sit with your spouse’s pain before raising your own, what you’re asking for is not empathy…it’s emotional competition.

That’s not partnership.

That’s not Christ-like love.

The Bible says in James 1:19, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” – James 1:19

Quick to hear.

Not quick to defend.

Not quick to counter.

Not quick to shift the spotlight.

It takes spiritual maturity to hold space for someone else’s pain...especially when you feel your own isn’t being heard. 

But love doesn’t demand a stage. 

It doesn’t say “Me too, me first, me more.”

It listens. 

It absorbs. 

It comforts. 

And when the moment is right…

it also shares.

This is what bearing with one another in love looks like according to Ephesians 4:2

You’ll have your turn to speak.

But don’t lose your spouse’s heart while trying to protect your own.

Let’s not hijack the healing.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.