The Wrong Person

I’ve watched a number of James Dumoulin's interviews with wealthy people.

You know him...the guy that goes "Excuse me sir, how old were you when you made your first million?"

There is this question he typically asks "What's your biggest regret in life or business?"

A surprising number of those interviewed don’t start with business.

Instead, they say,

“Marrying the wrong person.”

That line is easy to hear the wrong way.

Because “wrong” doesn’t always mean bad.

Sometimes...

it just means misaligned.

Two good people.

Two sincere hearts.

But moving in different directions.

And that matters more than we care to admit.

Because marriage doesn’t just affect how you feel.

It shapes how you move.

Your decisions.

Your pace.

Your priorities.

Amos 3:3 asks a simple question:

“Can two walk together… unless they are agreed?”

The don't have to be identical...

they just have to be aligned.

Because love can make you feel close...

while your lives are quietly pulling apart.

We all have goals.

Dreams.

A sense of where we believe we’re going.

And who you marry will either:

Support that movement...

slow it down...

or kill it (I'm sorry, I just had to keep it real).

Not always intentionally.

But inevitably.

So the uncomfortable question becomes...

can I make anyone fit?

You can try.

You can adjust.

Compromise...

even stretch.

But alignment is not something you force.

Because when you spend your energy trying to make it work...

you often ignore what is not working.

Proverbs 4:23 states categorically,

“Guard your heart...”

Not just from harm...

but from misplacement.

Because love has a way of convincing us

that effort can fix what alignment never established.

So how do you recognize a wrong fit?

No one is perfect... so it's not about looking for perfection.

But then, there are patterns.

You keep explaining yourself...

but rarely feel understood.

You’re constantly negotiating core values...

not just preferences.

You feel tension around direction...

not just decisions.

Growth feels one-sided.

Peace feels temporary...

like something you have to manage.

And slowly…

what should feel like partnership

starts to feel like pressure.

Let me state again:

This is not about finding someone who agrees with everything.

Having differences is not the problem.

Misalignment is.

Because difference can sharpen.

But misalignment divides.

“Two are better than one...” according to Ecclesiastes 4:9

But that's assuming they are moving together.

Another VERY IMPORTANT part, before asking...

“Are they right for me?”

Is asking yourself

“Am I clear about where I’m going?”

Because if you don’t know your direction...

anyone can feel right.

But clarity exposes fit.

And this is where wisdom matters.

Don't rush it.

Don't force it.

Don't ignore what is obvious just because it’s inconvenient.

Because you don’t build a future

by hoping alignment appears later.

You discern it early.

So yes...

you can love someone...

and they still be wrong for where you are going.

Not because they are bad.

But because the path you are on...

requires a different kind of alignment.

And ignoring that doesn’t make it disappear.

It only delays the realization.

As you are dealing with the butterflies in your belly, also ask:

“Can we walk together... without losing direction?”

Because the right person doesn’t just feel good.

They fit the life you are building.

And that kind of alignment...

is worth waiting for.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.