may be quiet...at least, at first.
Everything looks fine...no seeming tension.
Just one voice that carries more weight.
One preference that keeps winning.
One way that keeps becoming the way.
It can even look efficient.
Decisions are made quickly.
Direction is clear.
But underneath all of that…
something is being lost.
Because marriage was never designed
to be one person ALWAYS having their way and the other adjusting ENDLESSLY.
Over time, things begin to morph
.
The other person begins to speak less.
They push back less.
They contribute less.
Not because they have nothing to say...
but because they’ve learned it won’t matter.
And when contribution dies...
so does collaboration.
From there, it begins to feel less like a partnership.
Because it has become a system.
And systems don’t feel.
People do.
So what starts as “this works better my way”
quietly becomes imbalance.
Then imbalance becomes silent frustration.
And frustration, if left unchecked...
becomes distance.
Because no one knows it all.
No one has the better idea every time.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 says,
“Two are better than one...”
Not just for presence.
For perspective.
To contribute.
To be a part of it.
Your spouse sees things you don’t.
Thinks in ways you don’t.
Notices what you might miss... your blind spots.
That’s not a threat.
That’s the design.
The Bible says in Proverbs 27:17,
“As iron sharpens iron...”
That only works when there is contact.
Friction.
Exchange.
Mutual input.
But if one voice dominates...
there’s nothing to sharpen.
And on a more serious note.
If you genuinely feel your spouse has nothing to contribute/offer...
you have a bigger issue than decision-making.
Because either:
You’re not seeing them clearly...
or you chose someone you don’t truly value.
And both are dangerous places to build from.
Marriage is not about proving who is right.
It’s about building what is right.
That requires humility.
The kind that says:
“I may not have the full picture.”
“I need your perspective.”
“I’m better because you’re here.”
Philippians 2:4 reminds us,
“Let each of you look not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
Not once in a while but on a consistent basis.
Because a healthy marriage is not one where one person leads everything...
It’s one where both people are contributing...
one where both people are heard, valued, and engaged.
So if one voice is always louder...
if one way always wins...
if one perspective always overrides...
That’s not strength.
That’s imbalance.
And imbalance doesn’t explode immediately.
It keeps building in the background...
until one day...
what was tolerated...
can no longer be sustained.
Your spouse was never meant to compete with you.
They were meant to complete the perspective you don’t have.
So don’t silence what was sent to strengthen you.
Because the best decisions in marriage
are rarely made alone.
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
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