“gb.”
It’s not a sound you stumble into casually.
Your tongue and lips have to work together in a very particular way.
People who didn’t grow up around it usually do the best they can and settle for something close.
Most times, it becomes “b.”
So instead of Olagbaju, you might hear “Olabaju.”
I’ve heard it many times.
Not as an insult.
Not as a slight.
Just… the closest they can get.
And honestly, I understand.
Sometimes the funniest version of this happens at home. I’ll ask my kids to pronounce their last name the way it was meant to be said. They grew up in a different culture, around different sounds, different tongues.
My eldest tries.
You can see the effort on her face. She pauses, leans into it, slows down the syllables, trying to pull that stubborn “gb” out of somewhere in her mouth.
“Ol…ag…ba…ju.”
Sometimes she nails it.
Sometimes the “gb” quietly becomes a “b.”
And we laugh.
Because you can see she’s trying.
And that effort matters more than the sound.
It made me think about marriage.
Sometimes your spouse gives you a “b” where you were hoping for a “gb.”
Not because they don’t care.
But because that’s the closest they can get with what they currently know… what they’ve experienced… what they grew up hearing.
Some people were not raised in homes where affection was spoken easily.
So when they try to say “I love you,” it may sound awkward.
Others didn’t grow up around apology.
So when they try to say “I’m sorry,” it may come out clumsy.
Some people never saw conflict handled gently.
So when they try to have difficult conversations, their tone may feel rough around the edges.
You hear “b.”
But what they were reaching for… was “gb.”
This is not about excusing bad behavior.
Growth still matters.
Communication still matters.
Effort still matters.
But marriage becomes lighter when we learn to recognize effort before perfection.
When we see someone leaning toward us… even if the sound isn’t quite right yet.
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:7: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Sometimes what love bears is not betrayal or cruelty.
Sometimes what love bears… is imperfection.
Sometimes it’s the sound of someone trying.
Marriage is not sustained by two people who always get 'the pronunciation' right.
It’s sustained by two people who keep trying to learn each other’s language.
And sometimes…
You just smile and accept the “b.”
Because you know in their heart…
they were reaching for “gb.”
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
No comments:
Post a Comment