“Like All the Other Nations”

In 1 Samuel 8, Israel asked for something that seemed reasonable.

A king.

Not because things were going badly.

Not because their system was failing.

But because something felt… off.

Everyone else had one.

“…appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have.” They had said.

Samuel was troubled by the request.

God was not surprised.

So He told Samuel to listen to them... but also warn them.

Because the thing they wanted so they could feel normal would come with consequences.

A king would take their sons.

A king would take their daughters.

A king would take their land.

A king would take their resources.

Still, they insisted.

Why?

Because belonging felt more important than wisdom.

Marriage can fall into the same trap.

Sometimes couples are doing just fine.

Things work.

Communication works.

Finances work.

Roles work.

Rhythms work.

But then comparison quietly enters the room.

“Other couples do this.”

“Everyone else handles it that way.”

“Are we weird for not doing it like them?”

And suddenly something that was working becomes questioned.

Not because it stopped working.

Because it isn’t common.

Comparison can make healthy marriages feel strange.

Some couples combine all their finances.

Some couples keep certain things separate.

Some couples are very social.

Some couples are deeply private.

Some couples travel often.

Some couples build quietly at home.

Some couples talk through everything.

Some couples process slowly.

None of these are automatically right or wrong.

The question shouldn't be:

What is everyone else doing?

The question we should ask is:

What is working for the covenant you are building?

Israel wanted a king so they could look like the nations around them.

But they forgot something important.

They were never meant to look like everyone else.

Their uniqueness was part of their calling.

Marriage works the same way.

Your relationship will have rhythms that are unique to you.

Ways you solve problems.

Ways you celebrate.

Ways you support each other.

What works for another couple may feel unnatural for yours.

And forcing it can introduce problems that were never there before.

Wisdom in marriage requires discernment.

Not everything popular is wise.

Not everything uncommon is wrong.

Sometimes the thing that makes your marriage “different” is exactly the thing protecting it.

So before copying what everyone else is doing, pause and ask:

Is this helping our covenant…

or are we just trying to feel normal?

Because healthy marriages are not built on imitation.

They are built on understanding what works for the two people inside the covenant.

What makes your marriage unique?

Protect it.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.