When You Hurt the One You’re Aligned With

Yorùbás will say, “Bí ènìyàn bá ní ìkà méjì, yíó fi ìkan ṣe ara ẹ̀.”

“If a person is equipped with two kinds of wickedness, one will eventually turn on them.”

I was reminded of this watching one of those Mr. Beast videos.

Contestants were told to stay inside a circle for as long as possible to win $500,000.

To make it interesting, they were also given dodgeballs and told to knock down towers that other contestants had built. If your tower fell, you were eliminated.

Mr. Beast even encouraged them to form alliances...because teamwork would help them last longer.

One contestant formed an alliance with a lady beside him. They were supposed to protect each other.

But when she turned her attention elsewhere, he saw an opportunity. He took aim and knocked down her tower. It worked. She was eliminated.

But as he was retrieving his hand, he accidentally hit his own tower.

And just like that...they were both out.

He betrayed his alliance… and still lost.

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It made me think about marriage.

Because in marriage, you are in an alliance.

You’ve chosen someone who stands beside you...in the same circle, under the same roof, facing the same life.

And yet, many couples spend energy trying to win against each other instead of win with each other.

They use silence, meanness, or spite as weapons...not realizing every hit against your spouse weakens your shared structure.

When you hurt your partner, you hurt your partnership.

When you attack the one covering your blind side, you expose yourself too.

The Bible says in Ephesians 5:28 (NIV)

“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

The verse doesn’t just mean affection...it’s insight.

Because love in marriage is mutual preservation.

The health of the “us” depends on how well each “I” guards the other.

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Pride says, “I’ll show you.”

Love says, “Let’s fix this.”

Pride says, “I’ll hurt you so you feel what I felt.”

Love says, “If I hurt you, I hurt myself.”

Believe it or not...you can’t destroy your teammate and expect to win the championship.

Marriage isn’t a duel. It’s a duet.

And every time you weaponize your words or actions, you might knock down both towers.

So, choose grace over getting even.

Choose the alliance over the argument.

Choose wisdom over wickedness.

Because in marriage, when one person falls, no one really wins.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.