I came across a video...It was like a marriage conference and there was this conversation between a husband and a panel.
He was frustrated...maybe even hurt.
His concern: His wife respected her friends more than him.
When he called, she’d stay on the phone with them.
When he tried, it seemed like she didn’t value his effort to stay, to lead, to hold the family together.
You could hear the exhaustion in his voice...felt like the man just wanted to be respected.
Then one of the women on the panel responded.
And she said something that made everyone in the room hush.
She said, “I’m paying attention to how you’re referring to your wife right now. How you’re willing to humiliate her in front of thousands of people. So what is it that you do in private that would make her respect you?”
That silence was heavy.
She continued, “Just because you pay bills doesn’t mean you get respect. Respect grows where love feels safe. Can she trust you emotionally, spiritually, and financially? Can she talk to you about her pain without being dismissed?”
And then she said what many men never want to hear:
“Her lack of respect for you may be a reflection of your lack of love for her.”
...................................................
It’s easy to listen to that clip and pick sides.
But marriage was never designed to be a competition for who’s right.
It’s a covenant where both hearts are responsible for the atmosphere they create.
Yes, a wife is called to respect her husband. Clearly stated in Ephesians 5:33.
But that same verse calls husbands to love their wives as themselves.
Love and respect are not rewards; they’re responses.
When love dries up, respect withers.
When respect disappears, love struggles to breathe.
They feed each other...or they starve together.
And here’s the hard truth:
You can’t demand what you’ve failed to cultivate.
If you want respect, be respectable.
If you want love, be loving.
If you want peace, stop proving points and start building safety.
A paycheck can’t substitute presence.
Leadership isn’t about control; it’s about covering.
And being “head of the home” doesn’t mean raising your voice...it means raising your standards.
The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:7 (NIV)
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect… so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
That verse doesn’t give men blank authority over women; it gives men accountability before God.
So before we talk about who respects who, maybe we should start with this question:
Are we creating an environment where love and respect can both survive?
👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.
No comments:
Post a Comment