Too Familiar to Appreciate

“Don’t take each other for granted.”

It sounds like one of those clichés people throw at married couples.

Right up there with:

“Keep the spark alive”

“Communicate more”

“Never go to bed angry.”

We hear these phrases so often they start to lose their weight.

But here’s the thing...this one?

This one is more than a cliché.

It’s actually a warning.

A gentle one, yes...but one that can make the difference between a marriage that thrives and one that slowly erodes from the inside out.

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Taking each other for granted doesn’t usually happen overnight.

It doesn’t come crashing through the door with flashing lights.

It sneaks in quietly.

It happens in the moments we stop seeing each other with fresh eyes.

The moments we get so used to who our spouse is, that we forget who they are.

It looks like:

• Forgetting to say thank you for things they always do.
• Overlooking the sacrifices they quietly make.
• Expecting them to carry the weight of the home, the family, the emotions...without stopping to notice or honor it.
• Becoming too busy to ask How are you? and actually listen for the answer.

And if we’re not careful, marriage shifts from “I’m so grateful for you” to “I just expect this from you.”

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Why Does This Matter?

The Bible paints a picture of love that is active, intentional, and humble.

It says, in Romans 12 verse 10: “Love one another with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.” 

That word honor is key.

To honor means 

To value, 

To appreciate, 

To hold something or someone in high esteem.

Taking someone for granted is the opposite of honor.

It’s the slow slide into entitlement...and entitlement has no place in the kind of love God calls us to live.

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The Cost of Familiarity

Many marriage issues don’t start with big betrayals.

They start with small neglects.

Not because people stop loving each other

But because they stop noticing each other.

The kindness that came so easily when love was new starts to fade.

The appreciation that once spilled out without effort becomes muted.

And slowly, silently, hearts begin to drift apart.

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How Do We Fight It?

1. See Anew: Ask God to help you see your spouse with fresh eyes.

Look for something to appreciate today...something you’ve been overlooking.

2. Say It Out Loud: Don’t assume they know.

Say thank you.

Say I see what you did.

Say I appreciate you.

3. Serve with Joy: Not because you have to.

Not because you’re “doing your part.”

But because love delights in honoring.

4. Pray for Soft Hearts: Sometimes taking each other for granted is rooted in hearts growing cold or distracted.

Pray for tenderness. 

For attentiveness. 

For grace.

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Truth is: None of us sets out to take our spouse for granted.

But if we don’t fight for appreciation, we’ll naturally drift toward assumption.

And assumption is the silent killer of intimacy.

Let’s choose to see.

Let’s choose to say it.

Let’s choose to show it.

Because when you stop taking each other for granted, you don’t just preserve your marriage, you breathe life back into it.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better.