Will You Be Suitable for Who They Are Becoming?

You were suitable for who they were.

You may even be suitable for who they are.

But here’s the harder question... especially for married folks:

Will you be suitable for who they are becoming?

Marriage doesn’t freeze people in time.

It doesn’t cryogenically preserve personalities.

It doesn’t lock ambition, capacity, or calling at the altar.

As humans...

We evolve.

We change.

And not always for bad reasons.

............................................

Growth can be unsettling

Sometimes the person you married starts to expand.

New confidence.

New opportunities.

New exposure.

New responsibilities.

New clarity about who they are, their potentials, and what they truly carry.

And growth can be disorienting...not because it’s wrong,

but because it shifts the dynamics you once understood.

Some people married greatness before it looked like greatness.

Before it spoke the language of greatness.

Before it had visibility.

Before it had demand.

They married potential without fully grasping what it would become.

..............................................

Love must be flexible enough to grow

One of the quiet tensions in marriage is this:

we want growth, but only if it doesn’t change too much.

We celebrate evolution...

until it challenges our comfort, our role, or our sense of control.

But the Bible reminds us that growth is not optional.

2 Corinthians 3:18 says : “We all… are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory.”

If transformation is part of following God,

then it will inevitably be part of marriage too.

..........................................

Suitability is not static

The word suitable means right or appropriate for a particular person, purpose, or situation.

Being suitable is not just about compatibility at the beginning.

It’s about adaptability over time.

Can you:

• Grow in confidence as they grow in confidence?
• Adjust when their capacity expands?
• Support them without shrinking yourself?
• Evolve alongside them instead of competing with them?

Love that refuses to grow eventually becomes restrictive.

Growing together requires humility

Growing with your spouse means accepting that:

• You won’t always lead in the same ways
• You won’t always need the same things
• You won’t always occupy the same emotional or professional space

And that’s okay.

Marriage is not about preserving sameness.

It’s about walking together through change.

The Bible, in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, gives us this wisdom:

“Two are better than one… If either of them falls, one can help the other up.”

Helping someone up doesn’t always mean rescuing them from failure.

Sometimes it means supporting them through elevation.

..........................................

Don’t fossilize your spouse

One of the quiet dangers in marriage is expecting your spouse to remain who they were when you first met.

That version of them may no longer exist.

They did not betray you... that’s just life.

The question isn’t:

“Why have you changed?”

It’s:

“How do we change well together?”

So ask yourself honestly

Are you committed to your spouse’s growth...

or only to the version of them that feels familiar?

Are you willing to become someone new alongside them...

or are you holding onto an old script?

Because love that lasts is not love that resists change.

It’s love that grows with it.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.

Marriage isn’t about staying the same together.

It’s about becoming...together.