In My Circle, I Have No Circle

I was watching one of Zachery Dereniowski’s videos.

He ran into a man who had just come from the courthouse after signing his divorce papers. He now had his children to raise. He was unemployed. Actively job hunting. Carrying the weight of fatherhood and failure at the same time.

And he said something that was pretty sad:

“Nobody is there for me… In my circle, I have no circle.”

That line screamed EMPTINESS.

In my circle, I have no circle.

And I couldn’t help but think…

how many marriages quietly suffer because there is no circle?

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Marriage was never designed to be isolated

We say “it’s just us.”

We romanticize independence.

We pride ourselves on not needing anyone.

But Scripture never paints marriage as a self-contained island.

Proverbs 11:14 says “Where there is no guidance, a people falls,

but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”

Safety.

Not interference.

Not gossip.

Not intrusion.

Safety.

A healthy circle doesn’t control your marriage.

It protects it.

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When there is no circle

When a husband has no men he can talk to honestly, pressure builds in silence.

When a wife has no safe women to process with, frustration grows unfiltered.

When there is no wise counsel, every disagreement feels catastrophic.

When there is no accountability, blind spots go unchecked.

And when hardship comes... job loss, disappointment, betrayal, confusion, there is no one to help you stand.

Ecclesiastes says, in Chapter 4 verse 10:

“If either of them falls, one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

The verse isn’t just about marriage.

It’s about community.

Two are better than one.

But two still need others.

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A lonely spouse is a vulnerable spouse

Isolation does something dangerous. It distorts perspective.

Every issue feels bigger.

Every offense feels heavier.

Every struggle feels permanent.

Sometimes what saves a marriage is not just love between two people...

it’s wisdom from outside the relationship.

A circle:

• Reminds you who you are
• Confronts you when you’re wrong
• Encourages you when you’re tired
• Lets you know you are not alone
• Prays when you can’t
• Speaks truth when emotions are loud

Without that, resentment and misunderstanding can grow unchecked.

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No circle, no cushion

Marriage already requires:

• Emotional maturity
• Financial resilience
• Spiritual grounding
• Conflict navigation

Add unemployment, stress, children, unmet expectations...

and without a circle, the pressure compounds.

That man’s words weren’t just about divorce.

They were about loneliness.

And loneliness inside marriage can be just as devastating.

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Build your circle before you need it

Circles don’t appear in crisis.

They are built in consistency.

Cultivate:

• Friendships with integrity
• Mentors with wisdom
• Couples who are ahead of you
• Spaces where honesty is safe

Not for gossip.

Not to take sides.

But for perspective.

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A gentle question

If everything shook tomorrow...

would you have a circle?

Or would you say, “In my circle, I have no circle”?

Marriage thrives in community.

Not because your spouse isn’t enough.

But because God never designed you to carry everything alone.

👣 Be Better. 💛 Love Better. 🙌🏾 Do Better. 💍Marriage Works.

Isolation weakens.

Community strengthens.