“The Chair” in the Marriage Room

You probably have that chair...or had it once. You know the one. It sits silently in the corner of the room. At first, it had a purpose. But now? It’s the unofficial home for clothes in limbo. The shirt you wore for a few hours...not dirty enough for the laundry, not fresh enough for the closet. The jeans you meant to fold later. A jacket or two. Eventually, the chair disappears under the weight of “I’ll get to it later.” It slowly becomes clutter that makes the whole room feel messy, heavy, and hard to rest in.

That chair exists in many marriages too.

It’s the metaphorical dumping ground for unresolved tension. For snide comments we never addressed. For apologies never made. For little acts of neglect that weren’t “big enough” to start a fight over, yet left a mark. And slowly, without realizing it, we start building a pile. We keep tossing things on that invisible chair, thinking, “I’ll deal with it later.”

But later rarely comes without intentionality.

Left unchecked, “the chair” turns love into weight. Conversations feel heavier. Connection becomes cluttered. Intimacy is harder to access because the room of your relationship is filled with things neither of you truly want to deal with… but haven’t quite put away.

The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 10:18 “Through laziness, the rafters sag; because of idle hands, the house leaks.”

What begins as a small oversight becomes a structural issue if neglected.

Ephesians 4:26 also reminds us, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”

God’s design is not to ignore the mess, but to clear it daily...before it settles into bitterness.

So what can we do?

We remove the chair.

We stop giving ourselves permission to drop things “for later.”

We start choosing conversations over silent resentment.

We trade passive neglect for active nurturing.

What might that look like?

Saying “I’m sorry” even when it feels small.

Voicing the hurt instead of stuffing it down.

Creating rhythms of check-ins, not just date nights.

Praying together...over the clutter and for the courage to clean it up.

According to Colossians 3:13, we are to  “Bear with each other and forgive one another... Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Forgiveness and grace are not one-time acts...they’re daily habits. A constant clearing of the chair.

So here’s the challenge:

What’s sitting on your marriage chair?

What have you dropped there...intentionally or unintentionally?

And what can you both begin to hang up properly or wash clean together?

You deserve a marriage room you can breathe in.

A space uncluttered by yesterday’s unspoken.

So go ahead...remove the chair or at least, declutter it.

#BeBetter #LoveBetter #DoBetter #MarriageWorks #Declutter