What Should Kemi Do?

I wasn't shocked by the story...it's a sad reality in the body of Christ. 😭

I will start by saying Kemi’s discomfort is VALID, and her experience should not be trivialized. God is not silent about the dignity, protection, and safety of His people...especially within the church.

1. First, trust what you felt.
The unease in your spirit is definitely the Spirit of God alerting you to something inappropriate or unsafe. The Bible says in Proverbs 2:11: “Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.”). If a physical interaction made you uncomfortable, especially in a spiritual setting, it’s worth examining and not dismissing.

2. Set a clear boundary.
This is not the time to "Daddy/Papa in the Lord." The word of God encourages wisdom and boundaries:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23).
Kemi should STOP meeting the pastor alone. If any further interaction is necessary, it should be in public or with others present. She is not obligated to explain her distance or feel guilty for it.

3. Seek counsel and protection.
Bring the matter to trusted spiritual leadership outside the influence of this pastor...perhaps another church leader, an elder, or even a women's ministry leader who can offer support and discernment The Bible encourages involving others when a personal confrontation isn’t safe or fruitful, according to Matthew 18:16-17 .

If that church is not a safe place to report or investigate this appropriately or lacks the structure to hold the pastor accountable, it may be wise to leave and find a community that honors integrity and accountability.

4. Consider formal reporting if needed.
Ephesians 5 verse 11 says “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.” If this is a known pattern, or the incident escalates, Kemi may need to report it to appropriate denominational authorities (if applicable) or counseling ethics boards if the pastor is a certified counselor. She is not being vindictive; she is protecting herself and by extension, others.

5. Protect her heart from bitterness.

Spiritual betrayal is painful...especially when it comes from someone held in high esteem. Kemi should be encouraged to process her emotions with God and possibly a trusted Christian counselor.
Romans 12:21 reminds us: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” She needs to be reminded that she is not responsible for the pastor’s behavior, but she is responsible for her healing, voice, and boundaries.

If Kemi was my sister, I would tell her she doesn’t have to suffer in silence. Jesus never overlooked the vulnerable...He confronted the religious leaders who used their power to oppress, and He defended the dignity of women again and again (We can find examples in John 8, Luke 7, Mark 5). 

She can walk away from that church.
She can speak up.
And most importantly, she can heal...with God’s help, and the right community around her. Not those who will flip it around and make the victim the bad guy.

Be Better. Love Better. Do Better.